It gets to the point where your habit is noticed by the LFF employees behind the drive through controls. When your cheerless face is framed by their lurking post enough times they begin to recognize you. Their knowing smiles are insufferable.

…well, at least 50% of them. Though I haven’t counted. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they were all stamped with various microscopic LFF logos.

Wisebread just posted an article about the 10 Unhealthiest Restaurants in America, covering a post on Eat This Not That.

Apparently LFF (Local Fast Food) dens share their nefarious mission statement with some sit-down restaurants. But, where I see Dairy Queen listed, I don’t see McDonalds! Does this mean McD’s is…healthy???

…nahhh.

…if that’s the right word. Oh, I know: it’s part of the American collective subconscious. So it TAKES NO THOUGHT to drive through.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve passed by the LFF (Local Fast Food) intersection and passed out, only to regain consciousness with a greasy bag in the passenger seat and something foodlike crammed between hand and mouth. It’s a McAbduction! Mulder and Scully should be investigating that.

Maybe you are not officially a town until you get one. My town has McDonalds, Taco Bell, Culvers, DQ. The town next to us has a Burger King. So we are just about covered.

I was just driving through McDonalds for lunch, and thought, “wouldn’t it be a lot easier to be healthy if I hated fast food?” Why yes, yes it would.

So I’m going to list all the reasons. All the reasons to hate fast food. ALL OF THEM.